Prayers and Unexpressed Gratitude

Ever felt sad or guilty for not conveying your gratitude to someone? 

It has happened to me quite a few times. Like I have missed conveying my heartfelt thanks to the person who helped me at the right moment. 

Whenever I see the following quote I just drown in the pool of guilt. 

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

William Arthur Ward

I initially thought I can write this during Thanksgiving or Maatu Pongal but then thought it’s already delayed. So plunged to write about this soon with no further delay. 

There are quite a few incidents in this list.

To begin with I would like to quote my recent encounter. This one is actually 10 months old. This happened during my labour. 

I did not write much about my labour or pregnancy but I always wanted to share the life lessons that I learnt. But either I had no mood or I was in search of words to describe. 

I was in the hospital for 3 days before delivery. I had contractions but they weren’t so intensive so as to deliver the baby. I was induced because of low water level but the pain was moderate and consistent throughout. On the 4th day, I was again induced through drips. Pain was intense! My husband and amma were there for my support. But when they needed a break there was a nurse beside me who was holding my hands and was smiling and encouraging me throughout. Throughout labour Doctors monitor the child’s heart beat. The pain was intense but if I moved my legs I felt relaxed. But whenever I moved, the baby’s heart beat dipped. That was when that nurse gave her hand for me to hold. She was gently patting my hands throughout. After her duty she wished me good luck and left. 

I was in pain and was then taken by the series of events. In my subsequent visits I didn’t meet her. I wasn’t in a position to make a note of her name as well. 

One can say it’s her duty to take care of patients. But doing things from the heart is a rare trait. Though one gets paid it doesn’t have to be from the heart. 

I really wish I met her in my later visit to the hospital and conveyed her my thanks. Better late than never. Thank you so much! I believe that the universe carries my gratitude message to her and protects her. She always has a special place in my daily prayers. 

I seriously wish not to miss the chance to thank someone. 

How penting up negative emotions will have its own side effects. Similarly, penting up positive emotions stops blessings coming your way. To have a better mood, better lifestyle, more peace, go ahead and convey your gratitude. Especially those unuttered gratitude. They will pave the way for more blessings. 

A 5-1 Kolam decorated with lamps to offer prayers

Sometimes people pray to offer something to god to succeed in tasks. Eventually, people may also forget. They might face some hurdles in subsequent tasks and gets reminded about the prayer and offer it to god. 

Here, it doesn’t mean that God expects gifts or offers to shower his abundant blessings. It is to make us understand the power of giving and being grateful. 

So, If you wish to convey your thanks to someone and he or she is in your radar do not miss the chance. You may not get one more chance. 

Be open. Say THANKS and attract blessings your way. 

Regards,

Rukmini

Reference: 

Image from Brainy Quote 

How doing things from the heart works?

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller

How many times in life have been behind things that bring in stress but nothing else? 

Ever thought of stopping for a while and going within and checked if things are done from the heart? 

Ever felt so aligned with the heart, feeling satisfaction briming, sometimes overflowing? 

And by the end of the day consciously took a deep breath of satisfaction and had a sound sleep? 

If the answers are no for the above questions, the one stop solution is, all these happen when one does things from the heart.

And while doing things from the heart, people may not be recognised instantly. Because most things related to the heart are invisible. 

Say, one person sows a seed and waters daily. Just how roots are invisible, few things in life are invisible as well, but it’s power is enormous. And when one realises the power of the invisible roots he or she becomes more powerful. Whatever he or she does, others can sense a classic touch in their works. Can feel their soothing vibes when around them. That is the power of doing things from the heart. It serves you and all.

Here, in Periya Puranam there is the history of this Nayanmar. He is the 58th Nayanmar. Poosalar. The number of Nayanmars so far is 63 and why am I speaking from the last? I follow no order in this series. Just going by the flow. 

This history is close to my heart. This was part of my Tamil syllabus in my school days. So only with his life history I got to know about Periya Puranam and Nayanmars. Before analysing the contemporary aspects from his life history, a brief note about him.

Poosalar was a Brahmin Priest and was living in Thirunindravur, a place near Chennai. In other terms Chennai ku miga arigil. He was so devoted to lord Shiva and wanted to construct a temple for him. But he was poor and had no money to build a massive temple for his god.

So, everyday after his usual work, he would sit in meditation and imagined how he could build a temple for his beloved god. He dwelled deep into detailing to every aspect. He was into such a detailing that he took the same time that it takes to build a temple in reality. If it takes a month for a sculptor to carve out an idol for a pillar he took that time to carve in his heart. He ensured all the detailing was captured to perfection. Despite no one knew, other than him he went on to be sincere in his thoughts. 

People around him thought he was someone who used to sit and sleep every day. But he had his own plans and kept going with his hearty construction. 

Meanwhile, the Pallava ruler, the king of the land, King Kadavarkon was constructing a Temple in the capital city Kanchipuram. The temple is still there. Kailasanadhar Temple. He wanted to construct the temple in a way where Lord Shiva can come and stay from Mount Kailash, his dwelling place and take rest here as this temple would be much more comfortable than Mt. Kailash. The king was indeed proud about his concept. The temple was coming up grandeur. For the temple sculptures even his wife, the queen of the throne posed as dancing dolls. Such were the efforts that went into the construction. 

The illustration of the Temple built in heart depicting Poosalar’s life history.

The king had set the date for the consecration. It was festive all over the capital city. Poojas, ygyanyas were happening day and night. Just the night before the consecration, Lord Shiva appeared in the King’s dream. He said he cannot be in his temple for the ceremony the next day as he had to attend Poosalar’s consecration ceremony. The lord also asked him to change the date of the ceremony. The king was taken aback and wanted to know who Poosalar was and about his marvel construction. He changed the dates and set out to Thirunindravur. He searched for the new temple all around but couldn’t find one. He asked for people if anyone knew Poosalar. Everyone said he was someone who sleeps at noon, sitting. He met him and asked about his temple and Poosalar was astound. 

Because only he knew that the temple was constructed in his heart. He revealed the truth to the Pallava king. The Pallava king was stunned by his devotion. The king felt small as he realised the greatness of his heart. He was moved and said to him that his temple is small compared to the temple that he had build in his heart. People later built a temple in Thirunindravur to make Poosalar’s visualization a reality.

Even today the presiding deity in Thirunindravur Shiva temple is known as Hrudhaishwarar, the one, who lives in the heart. 

Coming to the contemporary aspect of history, in this busy world, people hardly connect with themselves. Looking at Poosalar, the one who had smeared the sacred ash all over his body, have shown what single minded devotion is and what doing things from heart can bring in. He visualized and it came into existence. His desire, his devotion was so strong that the universe heard his inner voice, helped him to achieve the same.

Some people may not feel connected with any god as it’s their belief system. But they look up to the Universe. As one does things from the heart, the entire universe conspires to achieve it. When it is for the greater goodness and is positive its power is many folds and is good for the seeker and the entire mankind. 

Poosalar slept in peace, led a peaceful life. Though he had little, his heart was large. A normal middle class man has much more than him in terms of materialism. 

We have Money to buy things. 

We have food on the table, a roof over the top. We have some savings. 

We have a beautiful family.

But all it takes is a deeper connection with ourselves. 

It is not necessary that we have to sit in meditation all day and visualize building a temple. We can just be aware of the useless thoughts and tweak them as purposeful ones. 

Though not easy it is still possible with consistency. 

Once achieved, we can distinctly see the difference in the way of life, the Quality of thoughts and purity in deeds. We can sense satisfaction brimming. Ultimately, can sleep better.

Happy Sunday! 

With Love,

Rukmini 

References: 

  1. Suki Shivam About Poosalar Nayanar – https://youtu.be/HZpuqs5w9zY
  2. 63 Nayanmar Varalaru, Shri Swami Sivanandha, Rasipuram Deiviga Vazhkai Sanga Veliyeedu 
  3. Wikipedia
  4. The temple structure is a recreation from YouTube video tutorials of Balaj Arts.
  5. The Shiva Lingam’s base design is an inspiration from the Youtube channel drawing kolors.

#NoMoreMeToo – Part 3 – The Upbringing

“Most things are good, and they are the strongest things; but there are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favor by trying to shield him from reality. The important thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil.” –Walt Disney

The third post on #NoMoreMeToo. This is all about upbringing of children. One of the difficult and exhaustive one is parenting! Running behind the child for feeding, playing is exhaustive and as you see the child smiling at you, it is all worth it! The difference between the current and the yester generation is that, the yester generation grew up. With today’s technological developments, the current generation has to be brought up!

Years back, screen was an unknown element. Now it it is almost the way of life. There are new parenting glichtes and it all requires new techniques to handle the same.

What #MeToo or #NoMoreMeToo has with Upbringing?

Parents play a pivotal role in setting a good, safe environment for the children. So, it is the duty of every parent to have an eye on the child’s growth and curiosity.

Image Courtesy : Pexels.com

At your home you may streamline, have a better routine, give an open space, cut the screen time or have no screen time at all for your child but other children may have different kind of parenting. So, one can control only what is in one’s control! Hence, making children understand on digital spaces, routine and private parts in essential. And to be honest the last one can feel awkward. Here, the post concentrates on the sexual talk.

Though awkward, it can happen through regular communication with children. Slowly can tell about what is good in touch, in seeing, in hearing. Because abuse can be of any form. Child Psychology says that even before they go to school, children would start to explore their bodies.

Many people speak about Adult-Child abuse but along with that child – child curiosity should also be addressed. No touching other than parents, grandparents should be the norm. Even if that is uncomfortable, there should be an open space to voice the same. Most young children will be curious about their bodies and also the bodies of children of opposite sex.

Similarly, When some other children seem to intrude in your children’s personal space, it is a must to speak with your child in an assuring way because only then the child would be open for communication in the coming years! Else the child would become secretive which could be dangerous for their growth, adding more trouble for us, the parents!

Even after all the precautions, when your child is subjected to threat or abuse, being calm and helping them divert their mindset will help them heal. Loving them unconditionally will help them lead a happy life. Till they understand that they will have a chance to explore sex with love, as a part of life, we as parents should be their fall backs. We have to build trust, a rock solid foundation. The child should believe that ‘Whatever happens when I tell my parents they will hear with calm mind’. Such a blind trust can make parenting easier! And the bond will be the strongest!

Treat children like plants! Allow them to blossom and grow. Take care and water them love and set the environment right. Because when a plant doesn’t grow, the environment should be fixed. It is not the plant’s fault after all! Positive parenting in communication, attitude, showing love is the key for winning our children’s hearts! Winning heart is a great deed. Winning children’s heart is an accomplishment to be cherished and a rare treasure!

Happy Parenting!

With Love,
Rukmini P Kirthivasan

The Year Of Dreams To Actions

Dreams are not what you see in sleep. They are the things that do not let you sleep. – Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.

In my 3rd Standard or 4th Standard there was a lesson in English called ‘2005’. It is about an automated house. But it has no dwellers. It is programmed to do things on time! At 8 AM in the morning it will toast bread. Table comes out in the living room and shuffles cards for 4 for a rummy game. A bathroom automatically gears up for a bath of dog. And many other things are programmed in that house. In the streets as well there are no people! In the epilogue the author says that by 2005 there are going to be no people! All would have died and only machines stay till their batteries die out!

Sorry. I vaguely remember the epilogue. But ultimately there would be no human race on Earth! That is how the author concludes!

Next in the 2009, there came a movie 2012. It is all about world coming to an end. Earth crust becoming unstable after solar flare and only the millionaires are warned and common people are left out. In the series of events finally the only landmass that remains is Africa.

We also get to hear about ‘Pralayam’ where world is likely to get submerged in Water! And people tell it happens part by part and doesn’t happen in one stretch. The above book or movie is all about negative aspect. But 2020 has a different vision even before the year came into an existence.

Would like call this year as ‘The Year Of Abdul Kalam’ or ‘The Year Of Dreams to Actions’. Despite people speaking about destruction, negative aspects, problems, blame shifting; Dr. Abdul Kalam showed people to shift focus to construction, positivity, solutions and taking responsibility of a situation in his book where he visioned about 2020 – India as a developed nation!

Image Courtesy: Internet

He proved that being positive would give only positive effects for ourselves and our society. Just a look back on his death ceremony. People from all over India came to attend the ceremony but there was no chaos. People worked for one more day as a mark of respect. People silently paid tribute! But when other leaders pass(ed) away, a fear is seen rather respect. People stay at home fearing some chaos. But for the people’s president one could spot only love and respect flowing all over! That shows the kind of thought process, positive energy with which he carried himself and radiated around!

So, this year 2020, it’s time to take his vision forward professionally and personally subsequently taking our country to great heights! Let’s take better care of ourselves, family and automatically we will have time to take care of our nation! Let’s be one big Happy Family!

Wishing you all a very happy new year 2020. 😊

With Love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan