#NoMoreMeToo – Part 1 – The Healing

Hello Folks,

April is Sexual assault awareness month! So I thought of penning down on #NoMoreMeToo in a brief series. Part one is about the healing process that is essential for anyone with traumatic past. Please read the part 1 here and let me know your thoughts on healing.

Over an year #MeToo has given so much awareness on sexual assault and abuse. It has spoken about the pain of all victims. Though all haven’t spoken out, people like Chinmayi Sripadha have been an inspiration to speak out the pains and wounds and that has made a huge impact in the mind set of people! At least few girls have mustered up some courage to voice their discomfort without any guilt.

The post is about healing after a traumatic incident. It has few tips to handle oneself after such a terrible incident! Disclaimer: I am no medical expert in counseling. The post is intended to create awareness only.

When it comes to sexual assault, don’t know why the victim feels bad but the offender is guilt free and a free bird. The offender in general has an upper hand, able to boldly dictate terms to the victim. It is because of the fear of the victim and the thought that the victim has committed a mistake, such happenings continue. This being sexual assault awareness month, it’s time to become aware of the victim mindset and change it for good. Time to become empowered.

Running from oneself when emotions come up after an assault is going to make things worse for victims. One needs to sit and process all the emotions that come up after an assault. For few it would be triggered time and again and would haunt people beyond imagination. If you are an adult and you have terrific past, start your healing journey.

Healing can happen through Journaling. – Picture from Go Daddy Stock of Photos

The incident could be random in bus and was not able to spot the person. The offender is someone you know but he had died. But you are still suffering in silence. This is like being splashed by drainage water by a speeding car on road as you walk. Though it’s his mistake, we got to clean ourselves for our sanity. If you leave the dirt unwashed, you have to scratch and clean for a longer time. Healing is the only way not to lick the wound longer. Forgiveness is the key. It could be hard but this is worth as it costs your peace and you would stop trembling once and for all.

So, empowering oneself after a traumatic past one needs a lot of courage to face oneself. The following could help in your healing journey.

  1. Being your journey with crying out. Feel all those emotions. And in the process remember that the mistake is not yours.
  2. Give some time to grieve.
  3. Talk to your loved ones.
  4. Pamper yourself like you would take care of your child after it fell on the ground and is hurt.
  5. If you feel it’s pressing beyond what you can handle, seek professional help!
  6. If you fear of being judged, talk to unknown persons through forums.
  7. Above all, take care of your body. It would store the memories longer than one can imagine.
  8. Journal and heal. The difficult emotions will leave you gradually.

Remember your worth. You are worthy of peace and happiness. With positive self talk, good amount of self love, being bold, one can slowly become empowered.

#NoMoreMeToo in real sense means not just no more traumatic incidents. It also means healing completely from such incidents and not trembling anymore. Remember scars do heal not just wounds.

Let’s create a better place for our children. In the process remember to heal your inner child as well! Because to have a happy environment at home one has to be happy and subsequently radiate happiness.

Together let’s create a better tomorrow!

More love to one and all!

Regards,
Rukmini P Kirthivasan
Happy Indian Family

Happy Sarvari

Kolam for Vishu

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. – Dale Turner

This day, the start of Solar Calendar. It is celebrated all across India in various names! Though we are physically distant, could feel everyone is praying for each others’ well being and wishing that normalcy to be restored soon. This pandemic is new to this century! No standard operating procedures and no prior crisis handling experience for people of this century! So let’s be with the Government, stay at our place, follow what ever is said!

Stay Home. Stay Safe and lets make our happy Indian families healthier. Because when health is lost something is definitely lost! Being locked down let’s dream and imagine about a bright future! Start small with imagining a normal day, plan for your dream trip. Just by this passing phase let’s not stop our imagination. Think about what all can go right. This can help to have a good mental health.

This is a new beginning and let’s believe that tomorrow will be a better day!

Happy Indian Family wishes all a very Happy New Year. 😊

With Love,
Rukmini P Kirthivasan
Happy Indian Family

What is Corona teaching us?

For the past few days the buzzing word all around the globe is ‘Corona’. The news is everywhere. Fake news are equally spreading. And more than the virus, panic is all around. The thing that is seen is people getting lost in panic and they aren’t concentrating on precautions. To put it in a better fashion there are more reactions to each of the posts on Facebook and innumerable whats app messages but when it comes to action it’s zero. 

Two days back I went out to buy essentials to a shop. People had been discussing on the virus outbreak. As the discussion continued; various comments and suggestions came up. There was this comment. “Nambha Ooru la lam Koozh aanalum Kulithu Kudi, Kandhai Aanalum Kasaki kattu apidi dhan solluvanga. [There are proverbs which says one has to have a bath even if he/she is having only porridge and wash clothes and wear even if they are torn.]  Now this virus has come and teaching us the same.” And that particular man coughed with no handkerchief or tissue and did not cover his mouth. Next person spoke about cleanliness. “Sutham Soru Podum nu andha kalathulayae solli vechurukanga”. [Cleanliness serves food on table.] He coughed covering his mouth just with hands and then he started packing things for another customer. And together they were mocking the coughing ringtone.

Next I was at a medical store to grab my hand sanitizer. A lady came and asked the pharmacist for a cough syrup which is around 40 Rs. The pharmacist said all cough syrups are above 50 Rs. Coughing she left the place telling ‘Na enna Pannuven’. Was in Q to pay and before could ask her to go to Primary health center or ask for her whereabouts she vanished. (2 other people tried to get to know about her as well).

Picture from Insider. Source: CDC

So, are we really getting the lessons from this communicable disease?? It is teaching us personal hygiene. It is not about whether ‘Tamilan oru ariviyal munnodi’ [Tamilians are the forerunners of Science] or not. That is not the debate now. It is all about how he is now. The same person who keeps his home clean doesn’t help the society with his solid waste management. The same person who speaks about personal hygiene serves food with the right hand as he is eating in group. Note: Without spoon, I say. The same person who is proud of his great grandfathers for their personal hygiene doesn’t wash legs after using the restroom or clean the place where he ate spitting curry leaves. 

This is the current situation. Many research analysts fear the repeat of 1918 flu which hit us in two phases. One affecting sick and elderly; in second phase affecting the young and dynamic ones. It is time to get the lessons of personal hygiene right. 

And one of the major drawbacks is with older people. It is hard to convince them with personal hygiene. They say “Enaku Onnum Varardhu. Andha kalathula sanitizer vecha kaikazhuvinen. Ennala andha virus ku edhuvum aagama irundha seri”. [I wouldn’t get this. Did I use sanitizer before? Wish the virus escapes from me.] So could see the preparedness level with these people. The population using internet is less. It’s high time Govt educate all with campaigns and it is individual responsibility to take care of oneself and cooperate with Govt. We are in dire need of sanitizers, disinfectants in public places. Please spray disinfectants as you do for mosquitoes. 

With precautions, health care facilities won’t run out. If not it could be a problem for all of us. Let’s be safe and let others be safe as well. Take care of yourself and take care of your families. And remember together we are one big family. 

Happy Indian Family advises all to take necessary precautions and educate your local people who have no idea about the internet.

With Care,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

References:

https://www.livemint.com/news/world/why-1918-matters-in-india-s-corona-war/amp-11584033795146.html

‘Shiva Shakthi’ – The Role Models

A family is always special. It could be a nuclear family or a joint family. There is always more to learn when we are around people. A man can go anywhere in this world but his heart remains at his home. A man for whom, his fall back is his family is more confident, knows where peace, happiness and strength are. A man with a family is ever blessed. People with no support system are emotionally hurt and find difficulty in handling people and facing situations. But a man with father-mother knows he has a strong support system and sleeps peacefully. 

As children we tend to learn things from parents. Just like chromosomes come from both Mother and Father in equal ratio, behavioural aspects also come from surroundings where a child grows and learns to react and respond from mother, father and people around. In a family, both father and mother put equal effort and it is 50-50. Sometimes one gives more and sometimes other gives more and the family runs with mutual love, freedom, respect and understanding. 

In India, spirituality is an indispensable part of a family. Being religious is a choice though, but being spiritual is far from being religious and it is something that keeps stress under control. And festivals are something ever cherishable. It is another beautiful day that brings everyone on table and could share a delicious meal together! Only such memories give strength when one is at his/her low point. 

So, on this auspicious day of Maha Shivaratri, shall see how Shiva Shakthi influences our familial structure. In Indian mythology, there is the term ‘Ammai Appan’. Indeed famous in Tamil Nadu. The term denotes the universal father and mother, Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvathi. There are numerous scriptures which speak about various manifestations of Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvathi in nature. Philosophically, Shiva is stillness and Shakthi is energy. Scientifically, Shiva is the potential energy and Shakthi is the kinetic energy. 

Speaking here with respect to Family and contribution of mother and father being in the institution of marriage is inspired from the history that still stands as a wonderful example of 50-50 partnership on all aspects of life is the history of King Sundareshwara Pandiyan and Queen Meenakshi who ruled Madurai, Tamil Nadu. 

It is believed that the universal couple descended on this Earth to show how to run a family well. For 6 months Sundareshwara Pandiyan rules the kingdom and Meenakshi takes care of the family. Next 6 months Meenakshi rules the kingdom and Sundareshwara Pandiyan takes care of the family.

Shri Ardhanari – Line Art by Ajay Kaarthick and Sowmya @Miya’s Hut

There is no gender bias and no gender based task assignment. Might be, one could be a level up and other could be a level down in any of the tasks, but that doesn’t affect the other attempting to take up tasks where one is weak and do it once or twice and learn from the better half in polishing skills.

For the fact, I initially wanted to name this blog ‘Shiva Shakthi’ as they teach core family values. But it sounded a lot spiritual rather than general. So changed the name to ‘Thus Agam Speaks’ – Meaning Thus Heart Speaks. I take this Maha Shivaratri to Thank the Universal mother and father for the inspiration.

They had set an example on how to run a family with love, respect, freedom, acceptance, being there for another and balancing the cycle called life by being as each other’s better halves. Today, on Mahashivaratri, let’s pray Mahadev and Parvati devi to bless us with an emotional, psychological, physical well being, prosperity, consciousness in each one of us. Let there be love in every one and let’s radiate to others and let our families be more merrier as the masculine and feminine energies are at unison.

Happy Shivaratri!_/\_

#HaraHaraMahadeva

With love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Happy Pongal

This is one of the awesome festivals in India. This festival is all about respecting nature and it’s abundance! It is celebrated all over India but in different names!

Let’s worship the visible God ‘The Sun’ to give good yields this year and pray for the well being of all farmers! Let’s take a moment to thank all farmers for all the food we have eaten these many years and for all that we are going to eat in the coming years!


Photo by Darwis Alwan from Pexels

Pongal is more close to nature compared to all other festivals as it is an agricultural festival. In previous days oxen played a predominant role in agriculture. Though tractors have replaced oxen the species still play a vital role in the ecological pyramid and for all milk she has been giving, cows the second mother from different species! Not just cows all animals play a predominant role in the ecological pyramid and for the well being of society! 

Tomorrow being Mattu Pongal, a day where we thank all the bulls, cows, goats etc. Let’s take a moment to remember all those animals that have lost their lives in Amazon and Australian fire! They have been playing a crucial role in the ecological pyramid and now we are missing them!

Photo by Sabel Blanco from Pexels

Let’s pray the almighty for a safer world where there is a win-win situation for all the dwellers of this Earth! Together let’s live happily as one big family! 

By being by the side of nature we give the best place for the coming generations! 

Happy Indian Family wishes a very Happy Pongal! 🙂

Regards,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

The Year Of Dreams To Actions

Dreams are not what you see in sleep. They are the things that do not let you sleep. – Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.

In my 3rd Standard or 4th Standard there was a lesson in English called ‘2005’. It is about an automated house. But it has no dwellers. It is programmed to do things on time! At 8 AM in the morning it will toast bread. Table comes out in the living room and shuffles cards for 4 for a rummy game. A bathroom automatically gears up for a bath of dog. And many other things are programmed in that house. In the streets as well there are no people! In the epilogue the author says that by 2005 there are going to be no people! All would have died and only machines stay till their batteries die out!

Sorry. I vaguely remember the epilogue. But ultimately there would be no human race on Earth! That is how the author concludes!

Next in the 2009, there came a movie 2012. It is all about world coming to an end. Earth crust becoming unstable after solar flare and only the millionaires are warned and common people are left out. In the series of events finally the only landmass that remains is Africa.

We also get to hear about ‘Pralayam’ where world is likely to get submerged in Water! And people tell it happens part by part and doesn’t happen in one stretch. The above book or movie is all about negative aspect. But 2020 has a different vision even before the year came into an existence.

Would like call this year as ‘The Year Of Abdul Kalam’ or ‘The Year Of Dreams to Actions’. Despite people speaking about destruction, negative aspects, problems, blame shifting; Dr. Abdul Kalam showed people to shift focus to construction, positivity, solutions and taking responsibility of a situation in his book where he visioned about 2020 – India as a developed nation!

Image Courtesy: Internet

He proved that being positive would give only positive effects for ourselves and our society. Just a look back on his death ceremony. People from all over India came to attend the ceremony but there was no chaos. People worked for one more day as a mark of respect. People silently paid tribute! But when other leaders pass(ed) away, a fear is seen rather respect. People stay at home fearing some chaos. But for the people’s president one could spot only love and respect flowing all over! That shows the kind of thought process, positive energy with which he carried himself and radiated around!

So, this year 2020, it’s time to take his vision forward professionally and personally subsequently taking our country to great heights! Let’s take better care of ourselves, family and automatically we will have time to take care of our nation! Let’s be one big Happy Family!

Wishing you all a very happy new year 2020. 😊

With Love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Merry Christmas

Happy Indian Family wishes a very Happy Christmas to all!

Festivals are symbol of hope, joy and sharing! Christmas is all about gifts from Santa for all! When young it’s all about chocolates, cakes, playing with friends. As we grow up it’s about good career, more money and energy to grow! And in old age it’s about good health, peaceful sleep!

On this day let Santa come and gift all that we have been dreaming for! While unwrapping new gifts make sure to unwrap the gift boxes in hand!

Let’s count our blessings as more blessings are on our way!

Photo by Ylanite Koppens from Pexels

Happy Christmas! 🙂

With Love,
Rukmini P Kirthivasan

Happy Margazhi

The king of months have arrived!

“Maasanam Maargaseershohum.” – Bhagavad Gita, 10.35 😊

Every year it is the same set of rituals. Getting up early. Drawing Kolam in front yard. Hearing Margazhi Maha Utsavam. Attending concerts in local temples. Hearing Thiruppavai – Thiruvempavai Meaning in a channel. Trying to follow the rules of Paavai Nonbu. Some days succeeding and some days failing miserably after seeing some ‘Diary’ products ad which make one drool. And at the end of the month eagerly waiting for next Margazhi vowing to oneself to follow the rules.

Simply put, it is ‘Than Muyarchiyil Satrum Thalaradha Vikramadhithan’ kind of for loop. All festivals are in repeat mode. The thing is how we receive the festivals each year! Ultimately interests matter and nothing else. And when it’s Margazhi, it is always welcomed with heart full of joy and joy only!

Happen to read an article from old newspaper dated January 11th 2010 on the greatness and history of Margazhi. Link in references. (Do read the link.) Festivals are celebrated to bring people from all walks of together! Vendor to CEO by designation in corporate it is for all. Festivals always have a global perspective and takes care of a country’s GDP. They are for all and by all!

Why Margazhi is different from other festivals is, rituals ensure that the entire ecological pyramid is taken care. A poem from ‘Paripadal’ explains the greatness of ‘Pavai Nonbu’ – வெம்பாதாக, வியல் நில வரைப்பு!’ – as all the rituals of Paavai Nonbu is done it protects the world from heat says the poet Nalandhuvanar in Paripadal 11.

While Margazhi is cold how does it protects the Earth from getting heated? It is said that as people wake up early and proceed with the Paavai Nonbu rituals it warms the environment for all organisms right from insects to animals. Cold is nothing but the absence of heat, as we proceed with the rituals it sets the optimum tone for next year rainfall which safeguard us from global warming!

It is great to realize that our ancestors have foreseen all factors and for all in the ecological pyramid, ensuring that the Earth is in Harmony creating a Win-Win situation for all its dwellers!

Why wait? Forget the snooze button and jump out of bed! Grab the Kolam dappa! Let’s rock on this Margazhi and contribute for next year rainfall! And getting up early during ‘Depression Prone Winter’ can really help us to evade the same. And don’t forget the ‘Monkey Kulla’. 😊

Instagramers like @ Kasturi_Venkat have really inspired us on Kolam and their nuances behind. Thank you! While colour kolams might seem to have chemicals in it, as a little girl back then it has always inspired me to participate in Margazhi. It is okay to go for it and as one realizes the actual reason behind a ritual the fancy jiguna falls by itself! Maturity! 😁

Wishing you all a very Happy Margazhi! 😊

Images :

  • Colour Kolam by me at the front yard, drawn last year.
  • Vibrant colors all the way from Nandi Kovil Street, Tiruchirapalli.

With Love,

Rukmini P Kirthivasan

References:

http://www.tamilhindu.com/2010/01/paavai-nonbu-and-thai-neeraadal/

Painting – Aandal and Krishna – Krishna for today – Artist Keshav