April is Sexual assault awareness month! So I thought of penning down on #NoMoreMeToo in a brief series. Part one is about the healing process that is essential for anyone with traumatic past. Please read the part 1 here and let me know your thoughts on healing.
Over an year #MeToo has given so much awareness on sexual assault and abuse. It has spoken about the pain of all victims. Though all haven’t spoken out, people like Chinmayi Sripadha have been an inspiration to speak out the pains and wounds and that has made a huge impact in the mind set of people! At least few girls have mustered up some courage to voice their discomfort without any guilt.
The post is about healing after a traumatic incident. It has few tips to handle oneself after such a terrible incident! Disclaimer: I am no medical expert in counseling. The post is intended to create awareness only.
When it comes to sexual assault, don’t know why the victim feels bad but the offender is guilt free and a free bird. The offender in general has an upper hand, able to boldly dictate terms to the victim. It is because of the fear of the victim and the thought that the victim has committed a mistake, such happenings continue. This being sexual assault awareness month, it’s time to become aware of the victim mindset and change it for good. Time to become empowered.
Running from oneself when emotions come up after an assault is going to make things worse for victims. One needs to sit and process all the emotions that come up after an assault. For few it would be triggered time and again and would haunt people beyond imagination. If you are an adult and you have terrific past, start your healing journey.
The incident could be random in bus and was not able to spot the person. The offender is someone you know but he had died. But you are still suffering in silence. This is like being splashed by drainage water by a speeding car on road as you walk. Though it’s his mistake, we got to clean ourselves for our sanity. If you leave the dirt unwashed, you have to scratch and clean for a longer time. Healing is the only way not to lick the wound longer. Forgiveness is the key. It could be hard but this is worth as it costs your peace and you would stop trembling once and for all.
So, empowering oneself after a traumatic past one needs a lot of courage to face oneself. The following could help in your healing journey.
- Being your journey with crying out. Feel all those emotions. And in the process remember that the mistake is not yours.
- Give some time to grieve.
- Talk to your loved ones.
- Pamper yourself like you would take care of your child after it fell on the ground and is hurt.
- If you feel it’s pressing beyond what you can handle, seek professional help!
- If you fear of being judged, talk to unknown persons through forums.
- Above all, take care of your body. It would store the memories longer than one can imagine.
- Journal and heal. The difficult emotions will leave you gradually.
Remember your worth. You are worthy of peace and happiness. With positive self talk, good amount of self love, being bold, one can slowly become empowered.
#NoMoreMeToo in real sense means not just no more traumatic incidents. It also means healing completely from such incidents and not trembling anymore. Remember scars do heal not just wounds.
Let’s create a better place for our children. In the process remember to heal your inner child as well! Because to have a happy environment at home one has to be happy and subsequently radiate happiness.
Together let’s create a better tomorrow!
More love to one and all!
Rukmini P Kirthivasan
Happy Indian Family