Prayers and Unexpressed Gratitude

Ever felt sad or guilty for not conveying your gratitude to someone? 

It has happened to me quite a few times. Like I have missed conveying my heartfelt thanks to the person who helped me at the right moment. 

Whenever I see the following quote I just drown in the pool of guilt. 

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

William Arthur Ward

I initially thought I can write this during Thanksgiving or Maatu Pongal but then thought it’s already delayed. So plunged to write about this soon with no further delay. 

There are quite a few incidents in this list.

To begin with I would like to quote my recent encounter. This one is actually 10 months old. This happened during my labour. 

I did not write much about my labour or pregnancy but I always wanted to share the life lessons that I learnt. But either I had no mood or I was in search of words to describe. 

I was in the hospital for 3 days before delivery. I had contractions but they weren’t so intensive so as to deliver the baby. I was induced because of low water level but the pain was moderate and consistent throughout. On the 4th day, I was again induced through drips. Pain was intense! My husband and amma were there for my support. But when they needed a break there was a nurse beside me who was holding my hands and was smiling and encouraging me throughout. Throughout labour Doctors monitor the child’s heart beat. The pain was intense but if I moved my legs I felt relaxed. But whenever I moved, the baby’s heart beat dipped. That was when that nurse gave her hand for me to hold. She was gently patting my hands throughout. After her duty she wished me good luck and left. 

I was in pain and was then taken by the series of events. In my subsequent visits I didn’t meet her. I wasn’t in a position to make a note of her name as well. 

One can say it’s her duty to take care of patients. But doing things from the heart is a rare trait. Though one gets paid it doesn’t have to be from the heart. 

I really wish I met her in my later visit to the hospital and conveyed her my thanks. Better late than never. Thank you so much! I believe that the universe carries my gratitude message to her and protects her. She always has a special place in my daily prayers. 

I seriously wish not to miss the chance to thank someone. 

How penting up negative emotions will have its own side effects. Similarly, penting up positive emotions stops blessings coming your way. To have a better mood, better lifestyle, more peace, go ahead and convey your gratitude. Especially those unuttered gratitude. They will pave the way for more blessings. 

A 5-1 Kolam decorated with lamps to offer prayers

Sometimes people pray to offer something to god to succeed in tasks. Eventually, people may also forget. They might face some hurdles in subsequent tasks and gets reminded about the prayer and offer it to god. 

Here, it doesn’t mean that God expects gifts or offers to shower his abundant blessings. It is to make us understand the power of giving and being grateful. 

So, If you wish to convey your thanks to someone and he or she is in your radar do not miss the chance. You may not get one more chance. 

Be open. Say THANKS and attract blessings your way. 

Regards,

Rukmini

Reference: 

Image from Brainy Quote 

A Friend In Need

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.”

Gloria Naylor

Happy Janmashtami One and All! 

Krishna is always special in India. He is there in everyone’s life here. Now-a-days, I do see his devotees across the world irrespective of religion. 

What is so special about him?

Why is he spoken about even after ages? 

Once Saurabh Jain, the one who enacted as Shri Krishna in Star Plus Mahabharata 2013, in his Instagram handle, spoke about how people see him as the Lord Krishna himself and share their worries, pain and ask him for guidance. 

Such is the impression people have. Shri Krishna is seen as the guiding force. There is no caste, creed, religion or sex for the supreme being. He is all here for the people who love him truly. As simple as that. He goes a mile extra for such people. He stays with them in every step and ensures they reach their goals and destination that must be reached. He is the journey himself. 

In his life he had taught the world many aspects through his way of living, being around with people, the way he carried himself in intense situations. And he never missed timing. When he had to be there for his friends he had been there. Neither a moment delayed nor a moment prior. He has been just there for his friends. He was a friend of all. The poor. The rich. Brahmin. Kshthriya. Male. Female. It never mattered. He would have their backs till the moment arrived and then he would appear at the right moment to take their hands and lead the way to the destined destination. 

Treating Friends

He taught how to treat people, especially friends. We do see in real life how people treat their friends. Few people use them. Few people put down their own people. Say, when a friend is rich, people use them for paying bills in a get together. His big heart is taken for granted. His wallet gets burnt. There is also the other extreme where poor people are ill treated. Most times friends are seen with benefits. Unconditional love for friends is a rare trait. Both Krishna and Rama have been an epitome of unconditional love, friendship. 

Lord Krishna treated Sudhama, his poor Friend and Arjuna, his rich Friend alike. Both were from different castes. But it didn’t stop him from treating them alike with respect and love. Beyond helping them to grow with his guidance, he respected them and their privacy. He always maintained the invisible line when it came to helping others and respecting them. 

He never did it all by himself. He let them do and appeared when his presence was much needed. In the case of Sudhama, he was in poverty beyond words. He was Krishna’s childhood friend. He tried all his means in an ethical way to lead a good life and when he couldn’t find a way, he went to Krishna, the king of Dwaraka upon the request of his wife. 

Being Humble

Sudhama was shabbily dressed and had some flattened rice in a torn cloth to offer it to his beloved friend. As Sudhama reached Krishna’s palace, the security guards did not let him in. But Krishna came running to receive him. Sudhama was moved. He did not openly ask for help. Krishna understood his situation and blessed him prosperity.

Krishna did not put his friend down. He neither felt proud about his wealth nor made fun of his childhood friend. He just empathized and did what he could do to help his friend. 

Zentangles in Flower vase with Lotus flowers which is close to Krishna. Self Designed one for Krishna Janmashtami.

The Takeaway

In our lives after college we might lose touch with childhood friends in the course of life. Say after some 10 years you accidentally meet your friends. You may bump into any of the following situations. 

Your friend fastly moves away from your sight. He may not have achieved his goals and might feel shy and move away. And some other time you may meet a friend who is in a higher position than yours and he may think why to talk with his peers and he wouldn’t smile back even. The vice versa is also possible. Where you are in a higher position and you think small about others.

Krishna, through his actions revealed that if a friend is in a lower financial status due to some reasond, but is here looking for help, do not question him knowing his situation. If in a position to help him, in ways you can, do it wholeheartedly with no ounce of pride. That way one can do a sane service and his respect isn’t at stake. Just need to thank God that we are in a better position, the position where our hands give rather. 

Krishna, the Jagad Guru even during intense times never left himself behind. In friendship if both Friends connect with the child in themselves even after years, then the ego dies. Friendship just becomes immortal. 

This Janmashtami let’s vow to treat people better with love and respect. Especially our friends. If one does not have a friend like Krishna. Being one may help. Might be. 

With love,

Rukmini

How doing things from the heart works?

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller

How many times in life have been behind things that bring in stress but nothing else? 

Ever thought of stopping for a while and going within and checked if things are done from the heart? 

Ever felt so aligned with the heart, feeling satisfaction briming, sometimes overflowing? 

And by the end of the day consciously took a deep breath of satisfaction and had a sound sleep? 

If the answers are no for the above questions, the one stop solution is, all these happen when one does things from the heart.

And while doing things from the heart, people may not be recognised instantly. Because most things related to the heart are invisible. 

Say, one person sows a seed and waters daily. Just how roots are invisible, few things in life are invisible as well, but it’s power is enormous. And when one realises the power of the invisible roots he or she becomes more powerful. Whatever he or she does, others can sense a classic touch in their works. Can feel their soothing vibes when around them. That is the power of doing things from the heart. It serves you and all.

Here, in Periya Puranam there is the history of this Nayanmar. He is the 58th Nayanmar. Poosalar. The number of Nayanmars so far is 63 and why am I speaking from the last? I follow no order in this series. Just going by the flow. 

This history is close to my heart. This was part of my Tamil syllabus in my school days. So only with his life history I got to know about Periya Puranam and Nayanmars. Before analysing the contemporary aspects from his life history, a brief note about him.

Poosalar was a Brahmin Priest and was living in Thirunindravur, a place near Chennai. In other terms Chennai ku miga arigil. He was so devoted to lord Shiva and wanted to construct a temple for him. But he was poor and had no money to build a massive temple for his god.

So, everyday after his usual work, he would sit in meditation and imagined how he could build a temple for his beloved god. He dwelled deep into detailing to every aspect. He was into such a detailing that he took the same time that it takes to build a temple in reality. If it takes a month for a sculptor to carve out an idol for a pillar he took that time to carve in his heart. He ensured all the detailing was captured to perfection. Despite no one knew, other than him he went on to be sincere in his thoughts. 

People around him thought he was someone who used to sit and sleep every day. But he had his own plans and kept going with his hearty construction. 

Meanwhile, the Pallava ruler, the king of the land, King Kadavarkon was constructing a Temple in the capital city Kanchipuram. The temple is still there. Kailasanadhar Temple. He wanted to construct the temple in a way where Lord Shiva can come and stay from Mount Kailash, his dwelling place and take rest here as this temple would be much more comfortable than Mt. Kailash. The king was indeed proud about his concept. The temple was coming up grandeur. For the temple sculptures even his wife, the queen of the throne posed as dancing dolls. Such were the efforts that went into the construction. 

The illustration of the Temple built in heart depicting Poosalar’s life history.

The king had set the date for the consecration. It was festive all over the capital city. Poojas, ygyanyas were happening day and night. Just the night before the consecration, Lord Shiva appeared in the King’s dream. He said he cannot be in his temple for the ceremony the next day as he had to attend Poosalar’s consecration ceremony. The lord also asked him to change the date of the ceremony. The king was taken aback and wanted to know who Poosalar was and about his marvel construction. He changed the dates and set out to Thirunindravur. He searched for the new temple all around but couldn’t find one. He asked for people if anyone knew Poosalar. Everyone said he was someone who sleeps at noon, sitting. He met him and asked about his temple and Poosalar was astound. 

Because only he knew that the temple was constructed in his heart. He revealed the truth to the Pallava king. The Pallava king was stunned by his devotion. The king felt small as he realised the greatness of his heart. He was moved and said to him that his temple is small compared to the temple that he had build in his heart. People later built a temple in Thirunindravur to make Poosalar’s visualization a reality.

Even today the presiding deity in Thirunindravur Shiva temple is known as Hrudhaishwarar, the one, who lives in the heart. 

Coming to the contemporary aspect of history, in this busy world, people hardly connect with themselves. Looking at Poosalar, the one who had smeared the sacred ash all over his body, have shown what single minded devotion is and what doing things from heart can bring in. He visualized and it came into existence. His desire, his devotion was so strong that the universe heard his inner voice, helped him to achieve the same.

Some people may not feel connected with any god as it’s their belief system. But they look up to the Universe. As one does things from the heart, the entire universe conspires to achieve it. When it is for the greater goodness and is positive its power is many folds and is good for the seeker and the entire mankind. 

Poosalar slept in peace, led a peaceful life. Though he had little, his heart was large. A normal middle class man has much more than him in terms of materialism. 

We have Money to buy things. 

We have food on the table, a roof over the top. We have some savings. 

We have a beautiful family.

But all it takes is a deeper connection with ourselves. 

It is not necessary that we have to sit in meditation all day and visualize building a temple. We can just be aware of the useless thoughts and tweak them as purposeful ones. 

Though not easy it is still possible with consistency. 

Once achieved, we can distinctly see the difference in the way of life, the Quality of thoughts and purity in deeds. We can sense satisfaction brimming. Ultimately, can sleep better.

Happy Sunday! 

With Love,

Rukmini 

References: 

  1. Suki Shivam About Poosalar Nayanar – https://youtu.be/HZpuqs5w9zY
  2. 63 Nayanmar Varalaru, Shri Swami Sivanandha, Rasipuram Deiviga Vazhkai Sanga Veliyeedu 
  3. Wikipedia
  4. The temple structure is a recreation from YouTube video tutorials of Balaj Arts.
  5. The Shiva Lingam’s base design is an inspiration from the Youtube channel drawing kolors.

Periya Puranam – A History And Beyond

“If you don’t know history, then you don’t know anything. You are a leaf that doesn’t know it is part of a tree.” Michael Crichton

Hello All,

Hope you are doing good. With lock down there is no way out on weekends. Sometimes it’s difficult but at times it does constantly remind me that there is a way in. And to learn or know something new, Sky’s the limit.

Hailing from Srirangam called Bholoka Vaikundam, I know very little about Nayanmars. Do not ask me if I know more about Alwars. I do not know them as well. But I have seen Alwars frequently during Thiru Adhyayana Utsavam also known as Pagal Pathu, Ra Pathu Utsavam, here in Srirangam which is celebrated during Vaikunda Ekadashi every year. But I have never been to Arubathi Moovar Vizha which is the famous festival in Mylapore every year in the month of Panguni. 

So, I thought I should start knowing more about Nayanmars. Hence writing about Nayanmars. And when it is about Nayanmars, it’s nothing but Periya Puranam that strikes my mind. As I learn about them I would like to share with you for two reasons. If you know about Nayanmars please do comment on this blog and let me know if the story is right or wrong. Another is to send some spiritual vibes which are more positive and powerful. And I guess we need this with the situation we are in. 

So, now straight into the introduction for Periya Puranam. 

Periya Puranam is also called Thiruthondar Puranam. It is 12th in the list of 12 Thirumurais (Panniru Thirumuraigal). These are 12 sacred texts of Shaivites. And this Periya Puranam is a treasure, a collection of life histories of all the 63 Nayanmars. This was compiled by Sekkizhar in the era of Kolothunga Chola II, King Anabaya Chola. 

Sekkizhar was the prime minister and poet in his court. Kolothunga Chola II was dazzled by the work Seevaga Chindamani. The work is about how a prince Seevagan conquers his kingdom back, by marrying eight dames exhibiting his heroics and errotics, gains the support of those kingdoms and becomes powerful. Ultimately, he renounces his kingdom realising the impermanence of the world and becomes a hermit. 

But King Anabaya Chola was stuck with the materialistic part of the work beyond the balance. Which naturally happens for any human. All that matters is to be aware of it and strive for balance. But the Chola king has gone so deep to make him aware of his off balance state. To put him back on track, Sekkizhar, a staunch devotee of Lord Shiva wanted to pen about Nayanmars. 

Some Illustrations Depicting Periya Puranam and Sekkizhar. Illustrations inspired from the pins Enrich Minds and 123RF from Pinterest.

To lead a peaceful life being spiritual helps. Too much erotica could spoil and ruin one’s life to destruction. And if a King goes off balance, the entire kingdom is at stake. So Sekkizhar travelled places to collect evidence and life histories of all the 63 Nayanmars. 

Most of the Nayanmars were leading a normal middle class life yet were strong about their spiritual seeking and their devotion to Lord Shiva. Despite hurdles, they were strong willed to go with their conviction.

Periya Puranam is a treasure as it clearly reveals about the time, place, the way of living of all Nayanmars. And Nayanmars are not from the same caste or sex. They are from all castes, creed and sex. The book is an epitome of Inclusiveness.

The book says that devotion, god, the elements of nature is for all. All that it requires is a heart full of love, conviction and purpose.

Most quotes on History say that it is a waste of time to read them and urge people to create one rather. But in Reality, one can read, relate and be inspired from History. And Periya Puranam not only says about devotion to God. Along with that it clearly emphasizes on love, compassion, acceptance. These aspects of life seem trivial but are difficult to put in practice in real life. But Periya Puranam is all about these little things that matter in life through the life histories of Nayanmars. 

So Periya Puranam is much more than to be seen as history as such. 

Planning to read and write about Nayanmars in the coming weeks as well. Hope things go as planned. 

Happy Week ahead! 

With Love,

Rukmini

References

www.shaivam.org

Periya Puranam Aaivu Nool, Vijaya Publications

Favourite Indian Epic Poll

Ramayana or Mahabharata – Favourite Indian Epic Poll Post

Hello People,

Hope your Monday was great! Few days back I was curious to know which is people’s favourite epic. Hence I conducted a poll on my facebook and instagram stories. People have to choose between Ramayana and Mahabharata. And 62% chose Mahabharata as their favourite epic.

My childhood stories were mostly from Ramayana and Mahabharata, be it at home or at school. Not just my childhood, in fact in most Indian Families this is seen. Children are told the stories of Ram and Krishna. Apart from worshiping them as Gods, they are seen as one in the family. With technological advancements, we watch them on screen. In India when Ramanand Sagar first aired Ramayana there were incidents like trains being halted in stations to watch the show on TV on Sunday morning from 9-10AM. Such was the interest people had in epics. It does continue even today.

Kolam Doodling by me for the post.

Now during lockdown, I see many people glued to Televisions to watch Mahabharatam repeat in Tamil on Star Vijay Tv. There are numerous related memes which make things even merrier. 

Apart from the entertainment point of view, Ramayana and Mahabharata are deep rooted in routine. Sometimes they are explicit and sometimes the lessons have to be decoded. They do show us how to live and how not to live. We are indeed indebted for these two epics. They hold life lessons for all situations that we face everyday. Even for the most difficult situations, secretive situations one get answers from the epics. 

Coming to the poll,  Ramayana and Mahabharata. Ramayana is from Thyretha yuga and Mahabharata is from Dwapara yuga. The below are humbly my opinions. It is not to hurt anyone and I am not qualified to make judgement which is better. The following are just my observations and are not judgments. 

Ramayana is all about the perfect man who showed how to lead a pious life as a king. There could be many arguments on Sri Ram not being a perfect husband but we cannot deny that when a man is in public life his private life is always compromised.

Media do interfere in celebrities life right?

So has happened in that times. A separate analysis can be made on this aspect. More in later posts.

The entire epic revolves around how good a man can be and the kind of compromises on his pleasures he has to make to uphold righteousness. The kind of path he chooses is harder. It is close to impossible for a normal human being to follow without resentment.

So, it is clear in Ramayana that he is a god incarnate though it wasn’t explicit. He is normal, boring for anyone who doesn’t follow rules. To him adhering to rules was adventure. Unto the last he held it. 

The Poll results from Instagram Stories

Ramayana is more like a rule book in my perspective. Everything is said, practised by one person. For a normal human being who has to run a family, handle office, being socially responsible all rules could daunt him. Lord Rama is seen as a king, a Nobleman, Mariyadha Purushothram. People felt difficult to follow all of the rules. They needed support and guidance in adhering to rules. So there came Mahabharata. In Mahabharata Lord Krishna, right from day one showed his godly powers. But he is seen as a fun loving boy, passionate lover, a trustworthy friend, a guiding force as Jagath Guru

In Ramayana the Lord himself did it all. In Mahabharata he made others do and had their backs. And so I think people are able to relate better. Lord Rama or his brothers were epitome of sacrifices. Whereas in Mahabharata it speaks about all the emotions that a man undergoes, especially the painful ones like jealousy, partiality, neglect and many more. So, people see Arjun, Bheem, Panchali from their shoes. Their pain is still felt and people feel connected. 

I see this relatable aspect as the main factor why Mahabharata is the favourite among people. If you have different observations on these two epics on favoritism do share them. It could be a healthy discussion. 

Have a great day! 

With Love,

Rukmini

Kannadasan – A Phenom

Kannadasan is one of the greatest philosophers this world has seen. He is widely known as lyricist in Tamil Cinema world. But he has given wonderful spiritual works. His greatest spiritual work is ‘Arthamulla Hindu Madham‘ – ‘Meaningful Hinduism’ is the rough translation. The book is of 10 volumes. He has written many other books like Yesu Kaviyam, Thai Paavai, Manavasam etc on spiritual genre. Many of his songs quench the philosophical and spiritual thirst of his listeners.

This post is about 4 beautiful songs written by Kaviyarasar Kannadasan. All the four songs are from the same movie but are of 4 different situations within the same story line. There is this iconic movie Thiruvilaiyadal, released in the year 1965. The movie is a mythological one which is based on the divine games played by Lord Shiva, to show the devotion of his devotees to the world. Many yestergen people love this movie. Even today the movie is fresh. It does act as one the references to delve into the divine plays of Lord Shiva. It leaves the viewers with a curiosity to know more on Nayanmars and their devotion. 

In the year 1965, with no great advancements on technology, the art direction, the screenplay, the writing and the direction by AP Nagarajan was at its best. The movie depicts few chosen Divine plays of Lord Shiva. 

In olden days, musicians, poets were greatly revered. There were competitions with fellow musicians from other lands and as one loses himself, he and his country would become the slave of the musician. Such was the rule in the Sangam Era. The musician becomes the musical king and is gifted with loads of money, gold, rare gems and the win is documented as he conquers the kingdom with his music. The last part of the movie is all about this. 

Picture taken from Wikipedia Images

Long story short for people who haven’t seen the movie. And for Tamil speaking people it’s close to impossible to miss the movie. Still just about the plot before delving into the songs.

There was a composer Banapathrar in Pandiya Kingdom. A great devotee who sings on Lord Shiva. He is known for his humility and devotion. Another singer, his contemporary, Hemanatha Bhagavathar, he being a head strong personality, with his musical talent kept conquering many kingdoms. And he comes to Madurai Kingdom to showcase his talent and conquer. The king seeked the help of his court musicians but seeing Hemanatha Bhagavathar’s performance they backed out . King’s last resort was Banapathrar and he was ordered to compete against Hemanathan. 

Banapathrar surrendered to Lord Sundareshwara, the presiding deity of Marudai, to safeguard him and his Kingdom from becoming a slave. The Lord wanted to teach a lesson to the head strong singer. He disguised himself as a wood seller and rested himself on the front ward of Hemanathan’s bunglow that night and sang a divine song which made him realise that he is just a speck of dust in this universe. Hemanatha Bhagavathar was fumbled and learns that the wood seller is the student of Banapathrar and elopes out of the kingdom, stating that he is the slave of Banapathrar and Madurai Kingdom. 

In the movie, there are 4 songs involved for this particular part of the movie. 4 sung in different moods and by different persons as per the plot. But all the 4 songs were penned by Kaviyarasar Kannadasan. Just a brief analysis on each song, change of moods that he has brought up into each of them with so much grace.

First is Oru Naal Podhuma – The song sung by a stalwart, Sri. Bala Murali Krishna on vocals, in the plot by Hemanatha Bhagavathar. The song depicts all about Hemanathan. Each line of the song is of different raga. The raga comes in words as well as in the tune. Such a musical treat by KV Mahadevan. Few lines that says what kind of person he is. “Endhan Kalaiku Indha Thirunaadu Samam Aaguma“, means “Is this kingdom equal to my talent?” The song ends with “Isai Deivam Naan Ada“, “I am the music god” he proclaims. 

The song shows what kind of person he is! Head strong and full of pride. 

Next is “Isai Thamizh Nee Seidha Arum Saadhanai“. This song says the mindset of Banapathrar is sung exceptionally well by TL Mahalingam both on onscreen and the vocals. Banapathrar is summoned by the king to contest against Hemanatha Bhagavathar. He surrenders to lord and ask him to safeguard from the impending assault for the kingdom. He sings “Verukku Neer Ootri Vilaikindra Iraiva! Un ooruku pazhi nerdhal unakindri enakillai“. “The one who grows a plant by watering the roots, if your kingdom is defamed it isn’t my fault. It’s yours.” Banapathrar argues with the lord as he fears the kingdom becoming the salve for the talent of Hemanathan. Banapathrar faints after the song and lord Shiva descends as a wood seller. 

As a wood seller the lord sings a philosophical song stating that he sings to ease out the pressure of work. The song “Parthal Pasu Maram” sung by TM Soundarrajan is a perfect philosophical song which simply summaries human life, desires in a span, less than four minutes. Each line tells the smallness of life that we live on this earth in comparison to the everlasting space and time. He sings about firewood but it suits human life and body; ending Pallavi with “Theeyil Itta Kariyum Minjuma“, meaning if put in fire only ashes remain both firewood and human body. Each stanza speaks about uncertainty of life in style. He doesn’t sell much at dusk and reaches Hemanathan’s place to spend that night, starts to sing in mosquito bite. 

The final divine song, “Pattum Naanae, Bhavamum Naanae“, “I am the song. I am the Bhava”. He hits the bullseye in the next line. “Paadum unnai naan paada vaithenae“. “It’s I who make you sing” sings the lord who disguised himself as the firewood seller. A beautiful rendition by TM Soundarrajan on vocals. Hemanathan surrenders and flies Madurai. 

Look at the change of moods, various situations over the plot. Single man has written all of the songs bringing the essence of character, aesthetically. Headstrong, ticked. Surrender and devotion, take it. Philosophy of life, have it in 20 lines. The voice of the divine, yeah here it is! says Kannadasan. He is able to speak as all. Even God himself.

It is usual for a poet, writer to write about things that had affected him greatly. There would be at least traces of it in each of his work. But only few writers outgrow and come up with excellence in all genres without letting their wounds bleed over their words. 4 different songs with such diversity and eloquence is possible only for Kannadasan.

Each of the songs is a gem of its kind. One cannot write better than what he has given. Such a phenomenal piece of art! 

The post is to celebrate Kaviyarasar Kannadasan’s birthday. 

A poet, a writer dies but his creations are immortal. It not just stays but makes people transcend from mere existence to living life to the fullest.

Happy Birthday! 

With Love,

Rukmini

To hear all the four songs, click on the below links. 

Oru Naal Podhuma – https://youtu.be/E__5KziNzB0

Isai Thamizh Nee Seidha Arum Saadhanai – https://youtu.be/UyTfKgHjC0c

Paartha Pasu Maram – https://youtu.be/NWDum95MyuQ

Paatum Naanae – https://youtu.be/LxXS3JgpwMI

Father’s Day

Fathers are one of the most responsible personalities in this world. One who takes responsibility is likely to be called as father. Despite the challenges faced in office, they carry a smile on face. On surface some are totally detached but on the flip side more connected.

On getting the first salary in hand realization heavily strikes. Might feel ashamed, for crying, for being adamant to get the Kitchen set or the Car right away at the end of the month or during crucial financial times.

Father holding his baby. – Photo from pexels

While buying anything, say when spending from own pocket one tend to do an analysis on the contents of the product. I have done this. For example, Vicco turmeric. Sans sandal costs one price and the other is of different price. But when you ask father to choose based on price, he asks to go with heart and doesn’t see the price tag. While he presents a hundi to teach the power of savings, he ensures to teach the value of money. Often asks to save 1/6th of salary at the same time spends selflessly for his children.

If selfless spending with lots of love is a course, fathers are the gurus.

To such selfless souls who motivates to lead a practical life, full of love, Happy Father’s day.

With Love,

Rukmini

International Labour Day 2020

This labour day, it’s a special tribute for all the doctors, sanitary workers, in general for all the front line warriors! This Conora is teaching various lessons especially in terms of discipline of cleanliness!

Take ‘Self-Hygiene’, it sounds fancy and cool. Thanks to phonetics. But it takes a huge amount of repetitive tasks to achieve the discipline. Ask yourself. How many of you felt bored or irritated when someone instructed to wash hands when you went to nearby shop to buy Essentials and came back? How many of you felt anger surging when someone asked you to close your mouth and cough? You would have argued at least once trying to prove that you do not have corona and why should one close mouth unnecessarily? How many felt lazy to wash hands after rubbing eyes? How many of you felt difficult wearing hand kerchief while stepping out to buy essentials?

It all seem simple. But could have felt Boring, irritating, lazy at least at one point. See the bigger picture behind it’s all for our safety still we find it difficult and want to lament about these steps which would save lives.

Think of the doctors, nurses, lab workers! Wearing PPE in scorching May. Chennai is humid and even imagining Nylon over skin one can feel the heat and itch. PPE over body is beyond imagination! In that dress, they can’t drink water! Again, it’s summer. Normally, doctors recommend to drink sufficient water to keep dehydration at bay. But now they are prone to corona, dehydration and stress of increasing corona cases! Above all their freedom of movement is restricted than the normal population. Self quarantine after working in Corona ward.

Next the sanitary workers. Even in normal days they deal with the waste of other people. Many people find it difficult at their own home to segregate the dry and wet waste; bio degradable and the non bio degradable wastes which is categorically their waste! Few people detest the work for the fact. But sometimes could see these people happily doing the cleaning process!

Then, the Police Department. They are prone to corona, stress, irritation of people who come out unnecessarily and often. Think about the direct sun that they are exposed to! Again the dehydration, sun stroke and what not!

From Go Daddy stock photos

Despite lock down, farmers and vendors toil to bring food for all, risking their lives to fill people’s stomach! If there is food on your table do not forget to thank a farmer and all who helped to bring it to you, just when you are hungry!

I find this International Labour Day more emotional! I hope many people also feel the same!

Whenever you go to kitchen take a glass of water, casually and drink to quench your thirst, remember how it would be for the fellow human being, being out there as a front line warrior controlling his thirst! As you happily pee, remember their urge to control the natural call! It’s a sacrifice beyond one could imagine! The only prayer that one could pray for all these first line, second line warriors is to wash hands, be socially distant and stay home! As we do these repetitively without succumbing to laziness, remember that we are actually helping, allowing the front line warriors to have a cup of water in the middle of work soon! And that could be the greatest thing you could do to your fellow dweller on this planet!

Wash hands! Stay save! Let the front line warriors drink water in their white coat soon!

Lets salutes all Corona Warriors on International Labour Day!

With Love,
Rukmini P Kirthivasan

#NoMoreMeToo – Part 3 – The Upbringing

“Most things are good, and they are the strongest things; but there are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favor by trying to shield him from reality. The important thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil.” –Walt Disney

The third post on #NoMoreMeToo. This is all about upbringing of children. One of the difficult and exhaustive one is parenting! Running behind the child for feeding, playing is exhaustive and as you see the child smiling at you, it is all worth it! The difference between the current and the yester generation is that, the yester generation grew up. With today’s technological developments, the current generation has to be brought up!

Years back, screen was an unknown element. Now it it is almost the way of life. There are new parenting glichtes and it all requires new techniques to handle the same.

What #MeToo or #NoMoreMeToo has with Upbringing?

Parents play a pivotal role in setting a good, safe environment for the children. So, it is the duty of every parent to have an eye on the child’s growth and curiosity.

Image Courtesy : Pexels.com

At your home you may streamline, have a better routine, give an open space, cut the screen time or have no screen time at all for your child but other children may have different kind of parenting. So, one can control only what is in one’s control! Hence, making children understand on digital spaces, routine and private parts in essential. And to be honest the last one can feel awkward. Here, the post concentrates on the sexual talk.

Though awkward, it can happen through regular communication with children. Slowly can tell about what is good in touch, in seeing, in hearing. Because abuse can be of any form. Child Psychology says that even before they go to school, children would start to explore their bodies.

Many people speak about Adult-Child abuse but along with that child – child curiosity should also be addressed. No touching other than parents, grandparents should be the norm. Even if that is uncomfortable, there should be an open space to voice the same. Most young children will be curious about their bodies and also the bodies of children of opposite sex.

Similarly, When some other children seem to intrude in your children’s personal space, it is a must to speak with your child in an assuring way because only then the child would be open for communication in the coming years! Else the child would become secretive which could be dangerous for their growth, adding more trouble for us, the parents!

Even after all the precautions, when your child is subjected to threat or abuse, being calm and helping them divert their mindset will help them heal. Loving them unconditionally will help them lead a happy life. Till they understand that they will have a chance to explore sex with love, as a part of life, we as parents should be their fall backs. We have to build trust, a rock solid foundation. The child should believe that ‘Whatever happens when I tell my parents they will hear with calm mind’. Such a blind trust can make parenting easier! And the bond will be the strongest!

Treat children like plants! Allow them to blossom and grow. Take care and water them love and set the environment right. Because when a plant doesn’t grow, the environment should be fixed. It is not the plant’s fault after all! Positive parenting in communication, attitude, showing love is the key for winning our children’s hearts! Winning heart is a great deed. Winning children’s heart is an accomplishment to be cherished and a rare treasure!

Happy Parenting!

With Love,
Rukmini P Kirthivasan

#NoMoreMeToo – Part 2 – The Defense

Hello Folks,

This is the second post on Sexual assault awareness. The first one is on healing from traumatic past. This post concentrates on how to defend such an assault or abuse to reach the state of #NoMoreMeToo. The post mainly concentrates on teenagers.

Recently, have been speaking with few volunteers on self defense. This made me to do some research on the same. Came across the below quote on Self defense during the research. It gave me a whole new perspective of the issue in hand.

“Self Defense is not just a set of techniques; it is a state of mind and it begins with the belief that you are worth defending” – Rorion Gracie.

This quote revealed me that some people don’t even know that one can defend themselves from such an abuse or assault. That’s really concerning to know, realise and is worrisome upon understanding.

It’s time to take up self defense seriously and make it part of learning. Our girls should be taught skills on self defense. They should be taught that they are worth defending. They should also be taught the different forms of abuse. Sometimes abuse could be physical. Sometimes emotional. So, self defense should be holistic.

When I was a school going girl, there was this belief that girls who learn self defense would start losing their feminity! This is untrue. But it’s the duty of every parent to ensure that their Girls understand the difference of being a girl and using self defense without falling into the pit of fake feminism or becoming a Femi Nazi. It is all in teaching the balance.

Similarly parents should ensure that their Boys learn that girls are equals and not a threat for their success. Should teach them that masculinity doesn’t mean they are superior folks and can cause harm to girls. Should make them understand the need for personal space for themselves and respect the space of girls.

Know about the privacy settings online for your safety! – Picture from Go Daddy stock photos.

On a global scale, there should be a change in thought process from grass root levels on gender roles. Cooking, cleaning should be taught that these are life skills and gender doesn’t have a role to play. This will shift the chauvinism mindset to equality mindset.

There are some curious teenagers who would like to explore their own bodies and the bodies of opposite gender. This will be for children below ten as well. Which will be dealt in the next post. Here for the curious case, there should be an open space at home to ask questions about sex and body parts so that they don’t search them outside. Should tell and make them understand the roles of body parts and how sacred sex is! Having a friendly communication always with teens helps because that is the age they would get hooked in the confusion of love, lust, crush etc. Their puberty plays a crucial role.

With friendly communication, Teens would eventually realise that they will get a person who will put respect first, then understand each other, fall in love and they can become intimate. This will change their perspective of sex forever. Such children will ensure a happy family is created through and by them.

Apart from physical and emotional abuse, these days there is cyber abuse. Call it virtual but emotional. Physical can be defended. Emotional abuse need to be identified in the first place and then should strengthen one’s mind to not to fall prey for the same. Cyber abuse mostly happens when the trust on the virtual person is blind and when one hasn’t taken enough steps to know the online privacy settings.

Not just teenagers, even adults get caught on lust online without their knowledge when they do not have enough self love! Pollachi case and the recent tiktok cases are classic examples for the same.
So new perspective and understanding required in sensitive matters with the advent of technology. Concentrating on Minute aspects and taking baby steps towards the same can help us in the long run in the upbringing of next gen people.

Let people understand that only with the balance in Yin and Yang energy a family can live happily. World’s saddest sight is to see our children suffer. Without being informed on sex and self defense our children will either suffer in silence or make others suffer in silence which spoils the liveliness of our families. When we fail to teach our boys on personal space and freedom we may fail to give good fathers for this society and when we fail to teach girls on self worth and self love, we fail to give bold and caring mothers to our society. We are in a responsible position to teach them the balance.

So, their self defense should include

  • Creating and protecting a personal, both physical and emotional space for themselves.
  • Teaching them that they should be treated well in any situation. Either when alone or when in groups, should be respected and treated the same way.
  • Making them understand that it is okay to tell No and retaliate when something defying their security is about to happen.
  • Self help is the best help.
  • Standing up for themselves
  • Through knowledge on online portals and using it with lot of modesty and with caution.

These would prepare their mind and they will be aware of such happenings and also know how to defend themselves in such situations and guard them.

As stated earlier, as we give a safe environment physically, emotionally, psychologically for our children they in turn will create happy families when they grow up!

Remember?

Happy Families make a Happy Society.

After all, together we are one big family!

Loads of Love to one and all.

Rukmini P Kirthivasan